Lesson Learned

Life is full of hurt and sorrow, full of joy and happiness.. Full of accomplishments, full of disappointments.. Full of victories, full of defeats.. Full of smiles, full of tears.. Full of people you stumble across who bring nothing to your life, but every once in a while if you are truly lucky you will find it may just let you stumble across someone who brings everything into your life..

I was fortunate enough to find that someone..

Our life has been a whirlwind of good and bad times.. joys and sorrows.. smiles and tears.. It has also been full of learning opportunities, full of missed signals, full of chances to change for the better. Sadly, it has for a long time been plagued by and full of my arrogance, my ignorance, my blindness, my inability to listen and process all the things she has said for so long. Hindsight is truly 20/20. It has shown me so many times I could have made us better before it went as far as it almost did a mere week ago, if I had just listened. My ears are wide open now. My eyes are wide open now. My mind is wide open now. My heart is wide open. I have never felt so confident in my chances of success, while at the same time so weak and vulnerable and terrified of failure before in my entire life. I have to be honest with myself and realize we are not going to teleport to where we both want to be overnight, it is going to take time, and it is going to take work, and most importantly it is going to take open, honest communication. Words will sting, they will bruise, they will bring tears of joy and sadness, but they must be spoken and they must be heard and damnit they must be heeded. Words will create some awkward moments, and that is perfectly acceptable. Words are powerful tools, tools I am not an expert in utilizing when I truly need to.

This chapter is just beginning and I tried to skip to the happily ever after ending with barely a few words scribbled in a notebook. That was an epic mistake, one I’ll not be making again. We will write these chapters together, slowly. We will take the time we need to relearn each other in a new light. We will mend broken fences and tear down emotional walls. We will put out the bad fires and rekindle the good flames. In the end we will be where we both want to be, doing the things we both want to do and living the life we both want to live together. All of these things will come to pass and someday we will reflect on how we got there and smile while we hold hands, but we have to get there slowly. My better half has said many times walk before you run, and crawl before you walk. I didn’t listen, I skipped crawling and walking and just took off running. This created a whole new set of obstacles to overcome, all in itself. Crawling slowly works.. Baby steps work, giant leaps and sprints fail. The journey towards our future and our happily ever after is a marathon, not a sprint.

Lesson learned….

One thought on “Lesson Learned

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  1. Very well said and don’t beat yourself up too much. Life is indeed a journey, not an all out sprint. It’s about learning, growing, successes and mistakes. I’ve always seen mistakes as simply obstacles that you overcome and grow from, when you’re willing to. Good luck on this new chapter.

    Liked by 1 person

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